Wow its Valentine's Day again. This is the 2nd Valentine's Day that I have been in the process of this Adoption. Last year I was in the midst of my homestudy. This year I am anxiously awaiting a referral...Will it be next week, end of this month, next month or will it be another 2 months. I honestly can't imagine that it would be this month....just from updates I have received from the agency. If I get something it would truly be a huge surprise. I know that there are many others who have been waiting longer than me...those whose files arrived even 2 months before mine.
So sometimes I feel bad about complaining about my wait. Its not really the wait that I find hard...its the not knowing when something will happen. I would be fine if I knew that nothing would happen till March...or even April (ok April would be hard...but if I knew that something was coming then...I would be able to focus on that). Its that never ending wondering if I am gonna get that email or that phone call telling me I have been matched. See I could get that email tommorrow...or I could not get it till the middle of March or April. Its the unkown that is the hardest...but I guess that is part of this process.
So Happy Valentines Baby.....I know that next year we will be hanging the hearts and decorating the table together. I am sorry but you won't be getting any chocolate next year...but you will get some very cute red sleepers :). I wonder what you are doing today. Are you in this world...or are you still growing in someone's tummy. My gut tells me that you are in this world already and that you are matched to my heart already....I just don't have any news yet about you. But believe me that you are thought of often by your grandmother, your aunts and uncles, and your great Aunt's. We all can't wait to get you home and celebrate your arrival. Even though I have never seen your face or held you in my arms you are my first thought in the morning and my last thought before I close my eyes at night.