A day late..but our final trek home

November 12, 2007 we woke up in the Sheraton Hotel..so glad to have our first morning in Canada. Nathaniel was wide awake...hillary was still very sick..so Nathaniel and I left her to sleep and we wandered the hotel. The front desk staff fell in love with him...couldn't get over how we had just flown home. We had a nice breakfast and made our way back up to the room. Nathaniel had been given a bib and giraffe at the restaurant. The bib says The Sheraton Loves(heart) me. ITs very cute!!
Before we knew it, it was time to go...my dad met us at the hotel room and we called for the porter. Somehow time got away from us and the porter was a good twenty minutes before arriving to bring us and our bags to the gate. IT was 35 mins before the flight by the time we checked in and I was a little worried that we would miss our flight (or that they wouldn't let us board). Our porter reassured me that we were fine and not to worry...thank goodness for the porter..they come with a great cart and get you all checked in.
We checked in and basically boarded the flight right away. We had a row of three seats to ourselves which was soo nice as Nathaniel was awake that flight. We changed planes in Montreal and boarded a very small prop plane (45 or so seats). We were finally on our way home.
When the captain announced our arrival in to Fredericton, I was in tears...sooo happy to finally be home. We got off the plane and gathered our belongings. I had no idea who would he at the airport but suspected there might be a crowd (as a side note..I always wonder what other passengers think as they walk into the terminal and hear the sighs of dissapointment that its not the family everyone is waiting for..I think it must be very funny!!).
My mom was as close to the door as I suspect the security guard let her come. I could not hug her long enough.. there were sooo many families and friends at the airport that I had tunnel vision..I couldn't even see straight. I know I missed saying hi to some families on the first go around..and then when I looked back and noticed them there..funny! I remember saying to someone where is Lisa G..I couldn't see her..but she was on the other side of the room. It was soo nice that finally we were both home with our kids! What a great day!!! We got everyone and everything loaded into the van and cars..and headed home!

Louise

Almost 5 months Home

Sporting the I am exhausted look in the Airport on our way home!


Nathaniel slept well on the flight from Addis to Jordan


Home for 5 Months....has he grown or what!

I don't update this very often anymore...but thought I would write a little post today as we are nearing 5 months being home. In fact tonight will be our 5 month landed in Canada anniversary. (bet they don't make a hallmark for that). The end of this month will mark 6 months of being a family as our family day was Oct 31, halloween.
So 5 months ago I boarded a plane at 4 in the morning in Addis...knowing that we were on our way home. As we sat in the airport waiting to depart I couldn't help but all ready miss the city. I also knew that I was taking my son away from all that was familiar..smells, sights, people, language, food...but we were heading home where new memories would be made and old ones would be treasured. Boarding the plane it was a nice surprise to see the air flight attendant was one of the same ones we had on our way to Addis. She wasn't suppose to be working..but there she was. What a gift as she was sooo excited when I told her why I was going to Ethiopia. She brought Nathaniel this sweet little BMI bear...it still sits in his toychest.

5 months ago we waited and waited at the London Airport...waiting to board that last long flight home. Anxious to be done with flying, living out of suitcases, and just wanted to be home. We were greeted in the Immigration department at the Toronto airport by two very proud Great Aunt and Uncle to help us through the Landing process (it sure is nice to have an aunt and uncle who works in the citizenship and immigration of the Pearson International Airport..another blessing). I filled out all the necessary paperwork (with my uncle leading me through it) and my aunt excitedly showed off her new nephew to all of the staff in the department.

5 months ago we arrived into the Sheraton Airport Hotel and by 9 pm were collapsed on the bed exhausted. Hillary (my sister and travel pal) was sick as a dog (later we found that she had strep throat)..she had chills and hot flashes, felt soo sick that she couldn't eat a bite of the overpriced room service..and I was so tired all I managed was a few bites of my sandwhich and some chocolate milk..and a few bites of cheesecake (milk ummmm missed that sooo much in Addis). So our 100 dollars (ouch) worth of roomservice was not well eaten (we had good intentions and felt famished when we ordered..but not so much I guess). A funny little story..when I ordered the room service I asked for a bottle of water to make Nathaniel's bottle. Then I called back and said ohhh geeez I don't need bottled water anymore..I can use tap water hahahaha...the woman must have thought I had lost my mind!

More tommorrow on our final flight home..

Attention

I don't know who keeps posting these comments..but I would ask you to STOP! They are a waste of time..I certainly have no intention of accepting them nor will I be linking to the site. I keep getting comments like this " see here" or "warning see here"...and there is a link to a site which I will not link to...thinking its probably a virus or something. Has anyone else been getting them? The last one I got was from a user name of "duran".

Louise

Rest of the Trip

Kids Hope

Kids Hope

Roses

Nathaniel sleeping just before we are ready to go

All my bags are packed, I'm Ready to go!

So the last few days in Addis, we spent shopping on Churchill Road as well as a little shop that Selamneh takes all the families to. The shop has a bit of everything in it. We went twice to here, and on the second time I found a beautiful necklace with round pieces of ebony wood..its two toned, one light wood colour and one black. It is another favourite piece that I brought home. The shop was full of lots of treasures.
On Thursday Hillary went to the Kids Hope in the morning, and in the afternoon we both went to AHOPE. I have no pics of AHOPE, just video, as we signed an agreement that we would not take any still shots of any one child individually. The children (for those who don't know) are all HIV positive. We were at the younger children's AHIPE (There are two separate ones). The youngest was 9 months and the oldest there was about 6 I believe. It was sooo hard to look at all these Children and know what struggles they would face in the Children. They were excited to have visitors, and one little boy showed me his picture and name, and also named off all his friends. Hillary helped feed the 9 month old...to this days she still gets very emotional when she thinks of this tiny little boy and wonders what has become of him. It was so very sad,...and these are the children who are getting help, the ones who are being cared for, treated, and given the medications they need...there are sooo many more who are not.
Saturday was a day we spent finishing up packing, visiting with the other families. We made one last trip to Churchill road as well...Hillary stayed home with Nathaniel that day so I could do some shopping solo....Nathaniel napped and I shopped...good combo hunh! The Weygoss Guesthouse put on a coffee ceremony for us that evening...and the other families were ready to depart by 9 pm that evening. We still had a few extra hours as our flight left at 4 the next morning. We had ordered one last meal from the well loved restaurant Ice Blue. Our waiter had become a friendly familiar face over the last week and we told him that today was our last day. That evening he once again demonstrated how kind and caring the Ethiopian people are. As a thank you he brought us 2 roses...one for each Hillary and I....I was soo touched by this gesture. It was so completely unexpected and so very sweet! We thanked him. Unfortunately because of customs we knew we would not be able to bring this back to Canada...dissapointing. We finished packing, and tried to sleep..unfortunately Nathaniel (aware of something happening) would not settle till 1130 that night and so I got only about 45 mins of sleep before having to start lugging the luggage downstairs. On the way down the stairs some very nice Italian families who had just arrived, helped me bring the bags down the two flights of stairs. Nathaniel slept right till we got to the airport. Selamneh and Berthe drove us to the airport. It was soo sweet of Berthe to stay up late and come along to say goodbye...she has become a friend (she also lives in Fredericton) and I am so happy to have shared our experience of bringing Nathaniel home with her. It was very hard to say goodbye..and we didn't want to leave. We trugged up the incline to the airport and loaded our luggage on the xray machine. The attendant offered to hold Nathaniel (who had woken up). So once all that was done, we went off to check in at the ticket booth, and then stood in line for immigration and passport check. There were about 40 women, children, and some men in line ahead of us. The guard by the diplomat line (which was empty), waved us over. I was confused, but went to him...he ushered us through the diplomat line. Hillary (who is very much into fairness and social justice) was put out that we bumped in line and didn't have to wait like everyone else. I agreed...but at the same time, I wanted to get Nathaniel settled and into the secured area. We waited in the airport restaurant, and then wandered around untill we were given the okay to go through security and into the secure area to wait for our flight. Nathaniel stayed awake the entire time. Once on the plane it didn't take long for him to settle to sleep. We actually met back up with a flight attendant who we had on the way down...so that was really neat to see her again.
Nathaniel did soo well on the flights, he slept 14 out of 18 hrs of flying.....I however only slept about 1 hr out of that same time..mostly because I was holding him and afraid I would drop him if I fell asleep. Hillary was quite sick on the way home...she actually had tonsilitis..but we didn't know. She had the hot flashes, and chills, was exhausted and feeling very unwell most of the way home...so was not able to help me much on the flights.
Arriving finally in Toronto, we were met at the Canadian immigration and customs by my Aunt and Uncle (who both happen to have worked and still work there for the past 25 years). So they were able to walk us right through the process at the special both for employees. It made it sooo easy and it was nice to have them there. We took the "secret way" as my uncle said, and snuck up behind my Dad and step mom to surprise them..that was funny! We all headed over to the Sheraton at the Airport and visited for about an hour, ordered way too much room service (which we did not eat half of...except the cheesecake and chocolate milk haha), and fell into our beds. I have to say that stopping I think is why we did not suffer much from Jet Leg. Nathaniel has slept on Canadian time since we landed in Toronto..So I feel very lucky.

Well that is it...the rest of my trip...I told you I would blog it eventually. In case you didn't know, my one year old can run circles on me...he is GO GO GO every minute of the day. Luckily he hasn't learnt to run yet...watch out!!!
Louise

Buy of the Week

So I thought I would start telling you about the great buys I sometimes get! I love to shop .....but right now on Parental Leave I don't have very much money...thus I love to shop bargains :) :)
So this week (I know I have barely been home for 2 days from Florida), Nathaniel and I went to Walmart and Zellers.
So in Walmart I got this train table by STEP 2. It is plastic, comes witha little automatic train and a bridge and train station. Nathaniel has become very adept at pulling off the train bridge.( Ahh oh well) It was normally 69.99 and I got it for 30.00 on sale. Good buy hunh!

Louise

Day 8...Wednesday

In the morning Hillary and some from the group went to Entoto mountain, I had decided to take the morning to just spend with Nathaniel at the guesthouse. Around 10, one of the other moms told me they were heading to the Sheraton to go to the Park there, we decided to join them.
The park really wasn't for Nathaniel's age, so we ended up exploring the Sheraton a bit more, and hung out by the fountains and enjoyed the fresh air. It was nice to have some quiet down time with him by myself. Hillary really enjoyed Entoto mountain and the church they went to.
The afternoon we went to Liga School...this was a highlight of our trip. Once again I found myself very emotional..especially while looking at all the sweet boys in the class thinking that this could have been my son. And these kids are the ones who are getting the help. This school does sooo much with so little. The rooms are litterally made out of corugated Sheet Metal...there are litterally 40 + kids in this tiny room. We brought granola bars and other things to hand out. The kids sang and danced for us. One little girl who was outside most of the time really touched my heart and the hearts of all the moms there. She was sooo sweet. Her name was Minuette. She was about 6 and had the biggest grin! Such a sweetie with I think a mischevious side to her.
Louise

Trying to Finish up the rest of our trip

Area where the Kechene Women's Pottery is Located

Surroundings

The big ditch

The materials for making the poottery






So I am feeling bad that I never finished Blogging about our trip..I will try to do so now!
Tuesday we went to the Pottery Factory. The other families had gone on Saturday while Hillary was ill, so we had yet to go. Selemnah took us...along the way we saw poverty unlike anything we had seen prior to this point. It was devastating to see what these people survived with. Their shops were smaller than my bathroom..and not only was it their shop..but it was also where they lived. They had soooo little...yet some still had smiles on the face. It really is something..that those who have the least are some of the kindest, happiest, gentle souls I have ever met. AND in comparison those who live in this country...who have everything never seems to be quite happy enough, never seem to have quite enough, always needing the newest, biggest, better thing. On the way to the Pottery Factory, Selamneh had to make a quick side trip to check out an area where Berthe was to go to for a meeting the next day. It was down a very bumpy road with deep ditches on either side. It was fun...untill he had to turn around...I don't know how he managed not to get those back wheels into the ditch..but he did it! Amazing....I am shocked how they get themselves into and out of the smallest or tightest spots. Driving in Addis is not for the light of heart. When we arrived in addis...my sister asked where the seatbelt was. Selamneh overheard her ask me this..and he said "forget Canada" hahaha.
The pottery shop was amazing. Nathaniel was sound asleep..and Selamneh offered to hold him so I could take a look around easily. We had a great time here..and I found my most prized possession from Ethiopia. A handmade Nativiy...it is simple and beautiful..but such a family treasure that will be passed down to Nathaniel when he has his own family someday.


In the afternoon, we took our donations and gifts back to the foster home. I felt quite teary here as I knew it was likely the last time Nathaniel would see the women who took care of him for the last 7 months for a while. Yes we will go back to visit, but when and I don't know if the same caregivers will be there. It was hard because I was taking him from all that was familiar to him, the sights, smells and sounds of the fosterhome and Ethiopia was all he has known. I presented Haregewain with the gift from everyone..and got a big hug from her as well. As we were leaving Sinyet (sp??) came into the hallway and saw Nathaniel...she called his name, and he turned his head. I leaned him into her and she held him for a short period. It was nice that she was able to see him again. Then he reached his arms out for me...which I have to say melted my heart...he really did know me :) :)
We said our goodbyes and were on our way back to the guesthouse.
I will add some pics of the day above.
Louise

Post Adoption Panic

I think this is a really important topic to discuss...so I am posting it to two blogs!


Post Adoption Panic
Thanks June for kick starting this discussion. If you look on June's blog she has a great post about this.
I like that term...post adoption panic....because I think it describes perfectly what many parents experience in the first few weeks with a newly adopted child. Infant or older, I don't think it matters...everyone (well atleast myself and many others) can honestly say that in the first weeks of being home, there comes a moment (a second in time) where you think "what the hell did I do". I know that in Ethiopia I was extremly sleep deprived the first 4 days that we were there. It all came down to the fact that after flying 30 hrs with very little to no sleep, we arrived at the guesthouse at 3 am, slept till730, and left for the fosterhome at 10am. Can we say sleep deprived to the 100th degree. Was my decision to go to the fosterhome and bring home my son on such little sleep well thought and planned...ummmm NO...but when you get your child in your arms after 2 years of waiting for him and there is the opportunity not to have to leave him for one more night..I am sorry but I am going to take it!!!!
In the world of labour and delivery, Maternity and NICU, where I work we have this little saying...its called day 3 blues. And every single mother that I have worked with goes through it. Its kind of like a moment where you can breathe, and your baby is finally here...and woooowwwww too many emotions all at once. Well my "pregnancy" came to fruition on a Wednesday..and my day 3 blues were Friday night to Saturday morning. My sister being dreadfully ill didn't help either. The fact that we were up from 3 am listening to the most gawd awful retching (that people 2 floors up thought was right beside them) didn't help. But on Saturday morning, I was holding my son on our bed and just bawling...literally crying and sobbing. A release of emotions that needed to happen.
But you know what (not to freak out people who are waiting to get their referrals, waiting to travel or just about to travel). Things got better. That night we got more sleep, the next day we went swimming, things progressed, each day I felt less jet legged, each day Nathaniel became more and more comfortable with us. But its not to say that things weren't tough. I think its only disillusioning people if you say everything was perfect, everything went perfectly smoothly...no problems...Because I don't think you can be in a foreign country with a brand new child and not have those stressed moments.
And when you get home...things are still tough. Nathaniel would wake 3 times a night, be up for 530 in the mornings, and sometimes it would take me 1 1/2 hrs just to get him to sleep...but would I change it for a world, would I not go to Ethiopia, would I trade my son...NOT FOR A MINUTE!!!! HE is perfect for my family. ITs almost crazy how much he is like his other cousins. Loves to be in the center of attention and is so laid back and easy going its not funny! He is a great traveller and is so funny and sweet its amazing!! I love him beyond words and can't imagine life without him now. I find the house much much tooo quiet when he was out with his auntie for the first time Friday. Much to quiet. I kept expecting to hear him wake up from a nap but had to remind myself that he was out.

And after 2 months of being home, those frustrating moments are down to a bare minimum. He is sleeping more through the night (only woke once yesterday night), he is walking so much happier and independent little man, and we have settled into a really great routine (PS Gotta have a routine, he loves it!!!)

This is a little section of a quote I found on Melissa Faye Greene's site (thanks for the link June). It really states it quite well!
I think like June Said You have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Reality is it will probably fall somewhere in between and vary day by day!

TWO LITTLE GIRLS: A Memoir of Adoption, [NY: Berkley Books, 2006], Theresa Reid writes of despair after the adoption of a second daughter, Lana, a three-year-old from Ukraine:

“I have no patience for this new child, who gets up two or three times during the night, and never sleeps past five-thirty A.M., who is hungry and desperately needs to eat, who asks for food, and then, when I hopefully, lovingly put food before her—even specially prepared food she has eaten happily before—cries and whines and angrily pushes it away. “Nyet!” she shrieks. “Nyyyyyyyeeeettt!” as she shoves it off her tray, kicking and flailing, then slumps in her seat with her head down and cries.”
Reid phones her adoption agency for help (I did the same in 1999), expecting to be offered support. Instead (as I was), she is met with confusion and bewilderment.

“I may be at my wits’ end,” Reid writes of her thoughts after ending that phone conversation, “but I think I can objectively say that this is NOT okay, to put together extremely challenging family constellations and then walk away. I hang up, abandoned, angry…”

The good news is that, in most cases, these can be the disharmonious opening notes of a love story. An out-of-synch beginning is not predictive of the parent/child relationship.

My tips for getting through a rocky and nauseating depression after the arrival of your child:
(1) Take really good care of yourself; do whatever it takes to get enough sleep, including spending the night at a friend’s, including arranging for naps. Nothing else will work if you’re sleep-deprived.
(2) Make yourself eat and shower and exercise. (I agree there is nothing a good hot shower can't fix...Louise)
(3) Get help. Hire help if you need to. While a babysitter is there, sleep or exercise or read or eat.
(4) Put Feelings on a back-burner. This is not the time for Feelings. If you could express your feelings right now, you’d be saying things like, “Oh my God, I must have lost my mind to think that I can handle this, to think that I wanted a child like this. I’ll never manage to raise this child; I’m way way way way over my head. I’ll never spend time with my spouse or friends again; my older children are going to waste away in profound neglect; my career is finished. I am completely and utterly trapped.” You see? What’s the point of expressing all that right now? Just put Feelings to sleep. Instead, live a material life. Wake, dress, eat, walk. Let your hands and words mother the new child, don’t order Feelings into action.
(5) Pick up something to read that carries you away. I’ve found that reading about Paleolithic art engenders deep calm and a sense of remove. There’s something about studying 40,000 year old cave painting that makes you feel you can survive the sound of your new child’s voice the next morning.
(6) Let yourself off the hook. This is not your fault. You’ve done a grand thing—you’ve gone out into the world in search of a child and, despite every obstacle over tens of thousands of miles, you’ve brought the child home. You’re exhausted. This is all really hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it. You’re doing fine. Just rest up, find something to laugh about, and give Feelings the month off.

Private Blog

Here is the Addy to my now private blog
www.nathanielmisganaw.blogspot.com/
I will update this one from time to time and continue to finish my trip blogging as time permits.
Louise

How to keep busy with a one year old

Well how does one keep busy with a one year old who has been since 5 am and apparently only wanted to nap for 45 mins...well I don't reccomend this. Little boys don't really appreciate it! HAHA

Day Six

Well so here we go trying to update again while Nathaniel is sleeping.
Monday
Today was a quiet day at the guesthouse minus a trip out to the grocery store. We pretty much stayed close to the guesthouse today. Nathaniel had fun playing outside in the courtyard..and enjoyed the guard that was there. The guards and all of the staff are certainly wonderful with the children. Meseret was one of the front desk staff...she would always offer to play with Nathaniel so that we could have a chance to eat our dinner. At first Nathaniel would stay with her..but closer to the end of the trip...he would only stay with them for a few minutes and then wanted back with me. Nice to see the bonding happening.
Monday evening we went out for Chinese food..the best Chinese I am pretty sure I have ever had. It was sooooo good!!! One of the things Lisa G warned me of was that the staff at restaurants in Ethiopia will take the children to play with them and let you eat. Its something that took a bit to get used to...certainly doesn't happen to often in Canada. I joked before we left Ethiopia with Selamneh that I would have to get used to being back in Canada. I would have to open my car door myself and eat at restaurants with Nathaniel on my lap (well in a highchair). He had a great time here..there was a large floor to ceiling fish tank. He and another little girl in our group Meseret enjoyed it alot.

Praying Medicals/Court Dates/Visas for Maritime Families

Now that Nathaniel is home safe and sound...its easy for me to get caught up in day to day life with him. But there are several families who have referrals but will spend this Christmas without their Children home with them. It is heartbreaking to think of them having to miss their Children over Christmas. They should be home..but they aren't. I am sending positive vibes and prayers your way. I hope in a short time you will be on that 24 hr plane ride to meet your kids for the first time. I hope you don't mind me posting your names but I am praying for you Julie and Trevor (and Mulu), Nora and Andrew (and Bereket & Elsa),Andre and Isabelle (and Lexie), Danielle and Nick (and Zia), Rhonda and Ed (Jeremiah). I hope that all your travel dates come super quick!
In a few months, our gatherings are going to be sooo much fun (and maybe a little loud too).
Louise

Day Four and Five

So Nathaniel is sleeping in...so trying to update about trip :)
Saturday
As in the previous post...Hillary was sick Early Saturday morning..and basically was in bed for the whole day. She was very exhausted but started to retain liquids by 11 am. Nathaniel and I hung around the guesthouse that day,..so not really much to say. Other than it was a very emotional day for me. I was very worried about Hillary, very sleep deprived (Exhausted might be appropriate word), all the emotions I think hit me. They say that new moms who have delivered get the blues on about day 3 or 4 after delivery...well that would be right! Even for adoptions. I had a few good cries and felt better by the afternoon. IT was just everything all rolled up. But moving into the new room made the biggest difference!

Sunday (day 5)
Wow what a difference a night of some sleep can do for a person. Nathaniel was only up once during the night (which was a big difference from every 3 hrs.
So today was a new day. Some of the families went to Soderie...which had Hillary not been recuperating we might have done as well...but we decided to stick close to home instead.
Hillary went to get her hair braided and I went with Cheryl, Randy and Hennock, and Jacyln, Craig and Judah and we all went to the Sheraton for swimming, For those who have not travelled yet. I think this hotel is probably one of the most majestic fancy hotels I have ever seen even in pictures. It is obscenly gorgeous considering the surroundings that it has. You don't really even feel you are in Ethiopia when you are there. BUT swimming was a nice break and I am really glad I did it. Since we were there on a weekend it was quite pricey 140 birr (14 dollars basically). But it was worth every penny.
After swimming we went to a Italian restaurant that had an outdoor patio (really on the grass) but it was a beautiful place to have lunch. I have garlic cheese bread (which was like a grilled cheese with oil and fresh mozzarella cheese and I also ordered a pizza which I shared with Hillary when she arrived.
That night we just relaxed at the guesthouse..once again Nathaniel was in bed by 7pm.

Louise